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A4 Issue Four
Posted on 28th October 2023 by pj

If you prefer you can download the pdf here.

My unending gratitude to Matt and John Yuan (deputy publishers of 1First Comics) who volunteered way back on issue 1 to proofread (off the back of a plaintive twitter plea) and ending up both being great proofreaders and even better editors - constantly encouraging and giving little notes that never alter the fabric of the story but always help.

Stories this issue:

Notifications, Memories of War, Cold Caller, The Civil War, The Monster, Sign Unseen, Ghosts.

A4 Issue Four Notes!

Gah, two stories with War in the title. So annoying. Hadn't spotted it until now, but there it is. It will be my eternal shame.

There were two things drilled in to me from English lessons in secondary school (which I did rather enjoy, I loved writing, and was told to apply for O-Levels early, so I did, and then I didn't do any work because I was fundamentally lazy - so failed it) anyway, the two things: never use the word got/gotten (I think this was my teachers personal bugbear, with teenagers writing "I got given a book then got a clip round the there and got out of there, before he got me" even I'm uncomfortable seeing the word "got" in anything I write) and never repeat a word if you can help it (obvious "I", "and" and so on are all fine). So two wars. Not good. Am annoyed. (Should point out, this is entirely a quirk of my own making!)

From hereon in there will likely be spoilers!

I had planned on a halloween all horror special - or at least as best as I'm able, but of course, I couldn't quite come up with every single story as a horror, so let's start with the least horror like story:

Notifcations

I suppose this and Ghosts share a very common through line, rejection and knowing the person who rejected you never even thinks of you. For a full exploration of this idea, watch the amazing "The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind".

Memories of War

There's a lot going on in the world, and much of it can be traced back so far that you'll never find the beginning point (hello from Northern Ireland!) - and the question is, if everyone lost their memories would those wars still continue. (this story optimistically says we'd all stop, I have a horrible feeling we wouldn't)

Cold Caller

Phew! Lighter fair! Actually there's a different story that uses the same sort of idea (the no-hawkers caveat that many people have at their door) I've been sitting noodling as a short comic for a few years (how many? oh man, it's embarrassing to tell - but let's say I first thought of it pre-pandemic) it would be far too long to do as one of these stories, so this slightly different version of it popped in to my head.

I am pretty proud of that title though, it came late - after I'd written a bunch of the stories and I was thinking "gah, now i need a title" and ping! there it was!

I did want to do stuff that was just a smidge lighter than last issue, because I've been told some of this stuff is DARK. I think of it all in the abstract, words on paper rather than real monsters. But we're haunted by the real and the imaginary, I suppose.

The Civil War

I saw a writer (a good writer;   it'll be a good book) talking their new Zombie book and it got me thinking, that zombie stories tend to be the ultimate "yeah of course I was the assehole prepping for the end of the world, and look, I WAS RIGHT" and I thought "what if instead of it being zombies, it's that everyone was just really really nice to each other ... oh... those asseholes wouldn't change..."

The Monster

I'll be honest, andI bet readers can tell, I shoehorned frankenstien in too this (because I wanted monsters, dammit)

Here's my orginal story idea from the apple notes app:

He had fragmented himself, Pumping his entire written and audio corpus through AI Large Language Models, and created an army of bots, one for each of the balkanised social media platforms. And he was finally free. Free to get on with work.

Is it better? it might be.

Sight Unseen

This could be policitical satire, I suppose. In the hands of a better writer. Instead it's simply a piece of fiction.

Ghosts

Gotta be honest, I just loved the shape and sound of the story. I love that it works on a couple of levels.  It pretty much came out fully formed, and so short. Honestly this is the joy of these shorts, there's not an ounce of fat on the idea, there's no point trying to extend it, and there's a sort of poetic quality to it. Anyway, might be one of my favs.

 

Hope you enjoy it, I would love to know what you think - you can fire me off an email to pjholden at gmail dot com if you like!

Hello!

Posted on 14th February 2024 by pj

Hey, if you’re here, then welcome, settle in and I hope you find something you like. This is mine (PJ’s) old patreon, and so there’s still some old posts. I debated deleting them all and then thought, to heck with it, that’ll take ages, so have left them up. But going forward (ugh, please forgive me for that expression) you’ll get a weekly update on the new one page folklore thursday comic John and I are doing, and maybe more posts as we either talk about the process or stick up some articles on the subjects. We’re here for the long haul, so stick with us!

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Folklore Thursday: Celestial

Posted on 14th February 2024 by pj

Unusually this particular folklore thursday tweet went through a rewrite… I’ll start with the finished article, here it is:

On the 23rd of September the Sun will cross the Celestial Equator, marking the Northern Hemisphere’s Autumn Equinox. As Earth enters the final quarter of its year, celebrations like Mabon and Harvest Festival are held in thanks for all that Summer has bestowed. #FolkloreThursday

We’re constantly fighting a number of limitations of time and space (not being timelords, this will always be the case)

John’s original tweet read

On Monday 23rd of September the Sun will cross the Celestial Equator, marking the Northern Hemispheres Autumn Equinox. Thanks Giving festivals take place around the Equinox, including the CofE Harvest Festival (est. 1843) and the Modern Pagan Mabon (est. 1970) #FolkloreThursday

Altered because, as John says “[the edited version] It still sounds a bit like the voice-over in a planetarium, or the start of a BBC documentary, but I think it’s a bit more poetic and interesting (hopefully) “

All drawing is disappointment. You learn to live with the limits you’ve set for yourself. I had a few hours to do this and lacked time to dig in as much as I wanted – ideally the wall of space behind the earth would’ve included an accurate starmap, and an earth that was more realisticly inked/coloured and maybe more of a crowd. But you have to get-it-done. 

So Google Earth to the rescue, and a quick search fo 3d stonehenge and a photo of a horn of plenty for some ideas and that was the pencils…



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Adobe Furishop

Posted on 14th February 2024 by pj
GAAHHHHH!

I’ve had quite the day. Nothing going as it should.

The Royal Mail, who I want to support, but, ironically, are the least capable postage service amazon uses.

Went to collect a parcel that we missed. Came home to find a note saying “While you were out…” ugh.

Went to collect my son’s ipad – got it repaired last week. They guys repairing it screwed it up, so the screen went hay wire. Texted them yesterday “Sure, that’s ready for collection”. Popped in today. “Oh yeah, it’s ready. But it’s in Downpatrick” (A distance of 47 miles).

Decided to cancel Adobe Creative Cloud. I signed up for the photographer’s licence, it’s a good deal if you use photoshop – tenner a month for access to photoshop. But I don’t use it, everything I do is done in Clip Studio Paint.

I signed up last month, you have a reasonable 14 days to try and cancel. So I went to cancel, they offered me two months free and I thought “Oh, that’s class. I’ll take that”.

Still didn’t use it, and being a conscientious fellow, I decided to cancel even though I’m in the middle of that two month free use.

Cancelling costs £44 – ie, half of the remaining contract. And you lose access to it on the next billing date. ie within the month. So the optimum time for cancelling, where you pay the least and get the most is … er… at the end of your contract.

I was furious. Effing Furious. (To be honest, the adobe thing came after the post and the ipad, so I headed to adobe support and this happened…


 

You’re chatting with Bill ***

Thank you for contacting Adobe membership services. You will be attended to shortly.
Thank you for your patience. Your wait time is approximately ‘4’ minutes.
You are now chatting with ‘Bill ***’
Thank you for contacting Adobe Membership Services paul. I’ll look into your account right away to view exclusive offers for your membership.
Hi Paul, how are you doing today?
Bill, I had assumed my contract with adobe could be cancelled at any time – it’s not a service I ended up using to any extent
When I tried to cancel in septemeber (shortly after beginning the service) I was offered two months of free use (or so it appeared). I took the offer, but still didn’t use photoshop to any greater extent and decided to cancel it altogther, but I’ve just discovered the cancellation fee is £44
Paul, I see you are using Creative Cloud Photography plan (one-year)‎.
When I first tried to cancel, this was within the 14 days cooling off period.
Okay.
If I had known that accepting the “two months free” would negate the cooling off period I would not have accepted.
Paul, I would like to inform you the subscription plan you’ve is under annual commitment/monthly billing.
how much notice of cancellation is required for there not to be a cancellation fee?
The early termination fee would be GBP 44.91.
Just to reconfirm, may I please know the reason why do you want to cancel it?  
Are we still connected?
Will I still have access to the service for four months (which is approximately the value of that fee?)
If you will cancel it you will no longer have the access to it.
May I please have your phone number to update your profile?
We have not heard from you for some time.  Do you wish to continue to chat?
So I have to pay for four months access to an app that I won’t have access to? This is an awful way to treat customers.
Don’t cancel. Can you give me an email address to contact customer services.
I will be taking legal advice. It is utterly unacceptable to charge someone for a service and then to no longer give them access to it.
Paul, just to let you know that you currently have 9 months remaining.
Yes, and if I want to cancel, I have to pay – IN ADVANCE – for four months and then get to use it for only one month. Astonishing to me that adobe think that’s acceptable.
At the time of purchasing the product I believe you must’ve go through the terms and condition regarding the subscription plan you have.
It’s not asking you to pay for 4 months.
That’s the early termination fee charge if you wish to cancel it now.
That is why I asked you the reason for the cancellation.
The early termination fee is equivilant to the price of half the remaining contract – and the contract is no longer available.
As I’m here to help you with it.
Yes that’s correct.
I do not use photoshop, I had originally signed up for it to test it to see if it suited my purposes, and had intended to cancel within the 14 day termination period. When I went to cancel adobe offered me two months of free usage
I had no idea that this would then lock me into paying £44 to stop the service I never used to any great extent.
Okay, so now you are looking to cancel it without fee right?
Ideally.
Yes, ideally, I would like to cancel without paying a fee.

[ I lost the last bit, but that’s what happened – cancelled, no fee. ]


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Black Snow 1

Posted on 14th February 2024 by pj
Black Snow starts this week in 2000AD, here’s the pencils of the first three pages. Just a gentle reminder, if you sign up to the patreon you can see stuff like this AND MORE as it happens!



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