PJ Holden's Blog

Trying to figure out the best way to publish comics/multiple images. Patreon seems to limit image posts to a single image – which is a bit of a pain. So here’s an attempt at getting a comic on here. While we’re in the soft launch period stuff like this will be available to everyone, once we (ie me) get are (er.. my) act together we’ll (me’ll) put this kind of thing on one of the paid tiers.

My twitter experience is starting to reach the point where … well, it has no point. Like most, it turns out, I’ll tolerant a large proportion of a service I use being full of nazis*, as long as it can still do something FOR ME, but really lately it’s felt like it doesn’t do anything for me at all.

(*I know, I know, this paints me in a terrible light, in my defence, I’m not the only one, and it’s not like I follow any of them)

Having inverted the point of blue ticks (previously: sought after awards for notable/famous people, now anyone daft enough to pay so they too can have their replies highlighted on a trending topic showing just how much they’ve missed the point) to the stage where previously you might have spotted a blue tick and thought “Oh, someone worth following” to now “Oh, someone I should block” and having toyed with the idea of preventing the block from functioning. Gradually, I’ve found that the promise of a 15,000 people reach (roughly my follower count) really only ever reaches at most 100 people. To be fair, this was always true, twitter’s potential and actual was always a bit of a ratio and lately I’ve started to see people who I’d’ve followed finding themselves blocked from the ultimate free speech platform for … criticising the ultimate free speech platform.

I’ve now locked my twitter account. It’s still there, but like cutting the blood supply to a skin tag in order to kill it, it might take some time for my account to die and in the meantime I’m likely to keep prodding and poking it in a sort of morbid fascination of what exactly will happen there.

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I’ve been trying to get out and walk a bit lately, as you’ll be unsurprised to find out my physical fitness is just dreadful. I was always fairly fit (working from 14, lugging giant boxes around I’d never walk any where I couldn’t run to) and never needed to consciously exercise because it was all happening at work, but it turns out if I don’t consciously get up and walk my body is more than happy to turn into sludge.

So me and my pal Jim have been going for short walks (his fitness is way way ahead of mine) First couple of weeks have been… not great. Muscles in my calf have quite hurt, which is a weird experience – as I still myself fit for walking, much in the way I still consider myself in my twenties – a sad dream belied instantly by looking in the mirror.

Using the apple health app on my phone I’m aiming for a modest 250calories of exercise per day – it’s about 5k steps (I know, I know, it’s nothing) and I don’t always get there. But I should.

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I’m wondering if we’ve finally reached peak enshiffication yet? That term, coined by Corey Docterow to mean the process where a company ends up sucking first its users dry then its suppliers until the point is reached where users no longer want to use it but they’re trapped, having built a web of important connections trapping them and their valuable data in the hands of the enshittified company.

Docterow’s naming it is useful – in most fictional magic naming something means having a power over it, and I think there’s a logic to that. You can’t discuss something if it’s too nebulous for a conversation about it to mean anything. But you give it a name and the name sticks then suddenly EVERYONE knows what you mean. Now you can go: “Wow, google sure sucks now” “Yup – it’s been enshittified”.

What I’m wondering is will this became a bulwark for companies to stop that from happening. So many companies can be profitable and work well, but they’ve sold their souls to shareholders who want to maximise every single penny at the expense of the customers, other businesses and ultimately the company itself. In the 80s that kind of hedge fund management/vulture capitalism was the bad guy, and now it’s sort of lauded, we need to think of it as a deeply unhealthy thing when someone swoops in a says “I’m going to make this company a unicorn to maximise value” at least now someone can say “sure, if we can avoid enshittification”.

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It is something I think about a lot, but it’s depressing how much more important who is President of America is than who is Prime Minister of Great Britain.

It’s coming time to update my passport, and genuinely I’m considering getting an Irish one. I’ve never ever considered it before, but it makes a lot of sense from a purely practical standpoint. Possibly I’ll end up with both. We’ll see.

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So a couple of years ago now, I got a quick little scan done on my kidneys (the problem wasn’t there, and in the end the actual reason for it turned out to be nothing) which turned up a small – 3cm or so – mysterious growth on my left kidney … cancer! but cancer with a little tiny c. Almost cancer with a subscript c. Caught so early as to be no threat to anything. Anyway, eventually they operated (they froze it off with needles, so couldnt even call it an operation) and it was fine. So now I get a check up once a year for the next 10 years. If they hadn’t caught it by accident, chances are they’d’ve picked it up in a decade when it might have been too late (once a cancer like that shows symptoms then you’re body has it all over the place). Any way, wen’t off to a “hub” today to get my bloods done (quick needle, couple of millileters of liquid gold later and that was it). But, it was in a thing I’d never heard of, so I was “What does Phlebotomy mean?” “Oh it’s just the word that means this is where we take blood”. Ok.

Tomorrow, in my old man is falling apart adventure, emergency dentist appointment – because man have I got a sore tooth. More tomorrow!

This month has seen me hit the books (well, hit the sketchbooks). Around Christmas time, John McCrea and I studiously poured ourselves over the Chris Samnee Daredevil artists edition (a review) (there’s a new Samnee artists edition coming- the Black Widow book). Samnee makes everything look so simple it very neatly fools you into thinking “Hey I could do this”. So at the start of the month, I decided I’d stop relying so much on the computer and start drawing on paper (I mean, it’s the same job, but paper is so much nicer to work with, but also so bloody awkward).

To that end, I started doing layouts that were about four times my normal layout size, with an eye on making them my pencils – I’ve drawn about 40 pages that way (nothing I can show yet, I’m afraid). Notably, this is waaaay slower than my regular layouts because it’s not just silly notes to self, these are the pages. But also notably, the plan was to scan these and print them and use them as pencils and… nope. Not so much. Samnee can do it, I can’t. So instead I’ve printed them as used them as the basis for pencils. Now, arguably that might make my pencils a little better, and, consequently the inks might be also a little better and every minor improvement I’ll take.

Parallel to this approach, and because it’s been a while, my non-digital inking – is a bit all over the place. I’ve used every tool I have (and many of them are a bit rusty from lack of attention over the past few years). Back when I started comics, I drew everything with a pilot v5 techpoint, then when I got my first gig I sort of panicked myself into learning to use a brush – it was, after all, the tool proper comics artists use – I redrew the same Dredd strip three or four times, each time with a brush and getting slightly better with it.

Of course, I could never master the brush of kings (Winsor & Newtown Series 7 Sable Brush) but I did get quite adept at the W&N Sapphire 10/0 Rigging Brush (a tiny tiny brush, which felt very much like a very fin marker to me – back when I could both see it well and control it decently)

Time and technology move on, most artists these days (non-digtial at least) use combinations of brush pens and pigment pens. Brush for filling black and giving brushy lines (feathering, it’s called feathering Paul), and pigment for most of the drawing (but a lot of it requires moving between tools to get proper life from them) and pens have been what I’ve been doing, but I’m still finding them unfulfilling. So, my back up plan is nibbed pens but ideally, a brush. It feels like I’m starting from scratch in inking. But that’s ok, I think one of the problems with being an artists with some years under you is you work off so many assumptions (just to get the work out there) that you don’t get a chance to relearn tools. Anyway, that’s what I’ve been doing. Relearning things, and seeing if there are better ways to do stuff. One interesting thing between when I started (back in 2001) and now, is the prevalence of manga tools for pencilling and inking. Nibbed pens where hard to get back then but now a G Nip is one click away.

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Since drafting the above, I had a minor panic and started digitally inking for a thing, traditional inking was proving much slower than I’d become with digitals, and so I hit the Huion/Clip Studio to ink some pages. I wish I hadn’t. Nothing wrong with the art (though of course, I will look at it later and think “I wish I’d drawn hat differently). Then a wobble, then I started pencilling on paper again, and I’m back to tradional inkss. Maybe. We’ll see.

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I’d quite like a to find a plug in for a wordpress blog that, as you get further and further away from your last update the blog reflects that – maybe growing cobwebs over the banners, or having some sort of count down since last update going. Maybe that will shift me into doing more updates.

I know something has to give. What is the point of a blog? It existed before twitter, it’ll exist after. But what am I doing with it? (that said, I’m pretty sure this was the exact same lament I was making 20+ years ago)

It feels like the trivial thoughts should just go to social media, and then you’re left with the important stuff, but really, what’s that important? almost nothing. Just some goofy notes on what’s going here.

Anyway, here’s an update for whatever people are still travelling the highways and byways of the big old blogosphere.

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Spent one night this last week trying to figure out the programming language Python – why? mid life crises? a sudden panic that comics may not be forever and maybe I should relearn some old skills? or just me getting in touch with one of the things I used to love as a kid – programming.

I will say this, programming, when you get in the zone, remains one of the most zen like things you can do – it feels deeply comfortable, like meditation (I imagine. Any time I try and meditate I fall asleep) and without any of the self doubt that drawing throws up. If I can’t do something in python it feels like “well, I just need to see how it’s done, and then I can do that” in drawing if I can’t do something it feels like “well, ok, I see how they do it, but I haven’t a clue”.

I don’t expect this to be more than a passing fancy, but there it is. I at least now have been able to do a “Hello World” in a nice gui in python.

(I have some not-unreasonable aim to make a text adventure, or at least write the code to do one. and maybe a calculator for page sizes for clip studio, so you can pump in a page size “US Comics” and get the correct clip studio dimensions at various levels of magnification – don’t hold your breath though, I’m more likely to grow a second head as complete any python project)

This is gonna be a tough post, because… well.. I’m not very good at keeping track of these things. But let’s see:

This year was the first full official year in our house.

(Now a mild divergence as I explain the house: I bought this house originally in ’89 when I was 19, for my parents to live in (I could get a mortgage and they couldn’t, but, conversely I couldn’t afford a mortgage and they could). The deal (according to my dad) was I’d end up owning the house and it wouldn’t cost me a penny. I was daft enough to believe this.

Eventually, in 2003 when I got married, my wife and I wanted to buy our flat and owning the house (which was in my name, but hadn’t been my home for some years) was a bit of a milestone, so I sold it back to my parents for no cost. Essentially transferring the mortgage to them. Then we bought the flat we’d live in since 1997.

Then sadly, that same year we lost my mum and dad raised my youngest brother in the house, and over the years he’d offered various deals – my dad’s a dealer, he loves deals – and some I could afford but were terrible, and many I couldn’t afford, and then post lockdown we’d managed to save enough to make it possible – so we did. It cost far more than I want to tell you, and wiped out so much of the savings I’d accumulated, and I’m still paying off debt because of it, but we own the damn thing now)

We spent a lot of money doing stuff to the house, but all stuff that really make it feel like ours now, the big fence was I think my favourite thing, we had a drive way open to the world, and added a big fence around it so our outdoor space became a lot more private and we had a tone of barbecues at home, which was great (previously, in our third floor flat, a barbecue was a wistful dream for me)

Second favourite (or maybe a tie breaker) got a new kitchen which included a dishwasher and man the difference that has made! life changing.

Anyway, you’re hear for comics related stuff and I’m blathering about a house. The studio space is small so this year was primarily all Digital, with the odd unsuccessful attempt to go pencil and ink.

January

Turns out I took a note of how many pages I did in January this year: 47! Drawing the Leopard of Lime Street for Monster Fun, and pages for Skulduggery Pleasant: Bad Magic. Lots of YA story telling.

I also ventured outside and did a course on making a short film, which I enjoyed, but my attention wavered, as work was just … a lot.

February

Lots of Bad Magic drawing. Also got involved in a project that, sadly, ultimately went nowhere, an arts comic project. It might still resurface, but it was a gonna be so big. Sigh. (approx 21 pages drawn)

March

Leopard from Lime Street and Bad Magic and I think I started drawing Judge Dredd Poison around then too.

Was also putting the finishing touches on the final collection of Fascinating Folklore.

Oh! And I drew pages 1-5 of Wormy and Me, written by Paul Cornell for Ahoy Comics, that was a fun gig.

(approx 22? pages)

April

Drew the rest of Wormy and Me (pages 6-10) Dredd Poison, ep2 and not a lot else. Work started drying up a little around here. Not been a great year, workwise… (approx 22 pages)

May

Did a short war strip, Dredd Poison ep3/ep4, and some samples for the aforementioned aborted project (began in February) (23 pages?)

June

Finished that short war strip, Dredd Poison ep5/6, Prankenstien a one pager for Monster Fun, (maybe 17 pages?)

July

Good news! Got offered some DC work, this was a fill in strip for a second part of a Harley Quinn short, so I ended up trying to ape another artist. (Not my fav thing to do, but didn’t want the change in artist to feel weirdly jarring) also drew Leopard from Lime Street episode 12, the final episode (until readers demand more!) also finished Dredd Poison ep 7 and then another little DC job – some illustrations for a catwoman book. (approx 22 pages of comics)

August

Dredd Poison ep8, final episode. Started Death Squad, began the Null Space project and began Devlin Waugh strip (yet to see print!) Did a couple of covers too.

(Approx 10 pages of paid comics work – this is when a real panic set in)

September

Yay! Another DC gig, Titans Beast World (actually out now, I think) Six pages, in colour. Plus 12 Pages of Devlin Waugh.

(Approx 18 pages paid work)

October

Two page full colour Garzag strip for Monster Fun.

(Approx 2 pages of paid work – this is the month that was scary)

November

Did a kickstarter strip, 6 pages and a new Devlin Waugh strip (six parter with unlimited deadline). Got asked to do a five part mini series – started that.

(18 pages paid work)

December

Two page monster fun strip. Twenty two page mini, episode 1.

(24 pages drawn so far this month)

There we go. That’s sort of roughly what I did this year work wise, about 224 finished pages. A handful in full colour. Plus actually I drew about 14 pages of Null Space, and wrote five issues of A4 – not to sneezed at, but sadly, unpaid.

The big hole in my workload was not having a miniseries, I’ve got sort of used to having one five/six issue miniseries a year for a publisher. And thankfully another (fun monster-in-the-woods type thing) has turned up for this year. But man, there’s a months there where the combination of already depleted savings due to buying a house and living off my savings has meant that I wasn’t sure how next year would go at all.

I’m ok now til at least April, and hoping I can start frantically banking money so that if the latter half of the year dies off again I can burrow down and live ok, but man who said freelancing was easy.

Plenty of stuff in print this year though, including the DC stuff (across three different things) Ahoy Comics, 2000AD and Monster Fun and finally the folklore book (collecting strips I did on twitter based on tweets by John Reppion are collected) and the Skulduggery Pleasant bad magic book, along with a bunch of collected things from 2000AD and a paper back of the Soul Plumber book means this year, despite being one that looked very worrying from a work load pov, was actually my most successful in print. But it’s all over the place, and if you’re a fan of my work (you maniac) it must be a right pain to read everything (or even anything) I’ve drawn.

Not sure how to fix that, except start to get better at managing a newsletter.

Anyway, that’s me til after Christmas! Have a good one.

That time of the year again when I rush out a digital Christmas card so all the people on my contacts list

No idea what next year holds, I’ve a five issue mini series I’m working on and a multi part devlin waugh, and something for a new Battle Action with Rob Williams, and that’s largely the first quarter of 2024 – nothing much lined up after that (so hit me up editor chums!)

A4 is on hold (just too muich actual; work now on my plate) and null space has strips lined up until Christmas Day, then a break then I’ve a few more to draw, and hopefully I’ll get ’em done, otherwise it may too face a little break, as I focus on paying work (oh to have universal basic income…)

Anyway, happy xmas and new year!